MCH Lesson #4 – We Are Lucky

On Thursday I spoke at the annual planning meeting for the Miami Children’s Hospital (MCH) senior leadership team. It was unbelievably moving. I’ve already written about what I learned from from their mascot, one of their honorees, and their audience. Here’s my final lesson from MCH.

Not everyone is as lucky as you are. I’ve written about this before, but in the context of this event it bears repeating. On Thursday I watched a woman describe the events of her daughter’s time as a patient at MCH, a time that was years ago. Still, she could hardly begin her story before she was taken by tears. Choked up, she struggled on to relay her full story – one with a happy ending.

I watched doctors and nurses who were part of the MCH Haiti Support team describe the absolute horror of their trips to Haiti. They described the children in need of amputations and other extreme care. They told one specific story that was too horrible for me to repeat here.

Then I recall my friend Rob who originally brought MCH to my attention. Rob, whose son Will suffers from seizures. Rob, who has cared for Will through three brain surgeries and countless drug therapies. Rob, who more often than anyone else I know points out how lucky he is.

Remember your luck. Be thankful. It is a powerful force in good times and bad.

MCH Lesson #3 – Get Up, Stand Up

On Thursday I spoke at the annual planning meeting for the Miami Children’s Hospital (MCH) senior leadership team. It was unbelievably moving. I’ve already written about what I learned from from their mascot and one of their honorees. Here’s my third lesson from MCH.

It felt like a bipartisan State of the Union address. Every few minutes some new name was mentioned, someone else was honored, a new person was brought to the stage, and each time this group burst into applause . . . and stood. A standing ovation every few minutes or so.

But State of the Union isn’t right. Those ovations always feel canned to me. This was more like a Viennese crowd after a Placido Domingo encore. This audience was genuinely thrilled, ecstatic for their colleagues, employees, leaders, donors, and speakers. Everyone in that ballroom felt it. I’ve been to a lot of organization meetings like this. I’ve never seen such genuine caring and enthusiasm.

There is something magical that happens when you go past applause to a standing ovation. Applause is expected. It’s natural. It’s part of the cultural norm. Group setting. Someone is recognized, a segment ends. Clap your hands. That’s the way it’s done.

Standing ovations are different. They feel extraordinary – on the giving and receiving end. Here’s the sad part. We don’t give them because we don’t want to embarrass ourselves. How often have you been in an audience and thought about standing up for an ovation, but you didn’t want to be the only one? You didn’t want to stick out or appear foolish.

But it’s worth it. Whatever embarrassment you might feel is worth the benefit – of being the leader, the trendsetter who gets everyone else up; of being the benefactor of the pride the person in front of the room feels; of being the beneficiary of the joy that comes from making someone else’s day. It’s worth it.

Truth is, you may not be in an audience like this too often. So what’s the equivalent in your world? Where are your opportunities for over the top enthusiastic recognition of the people around you? Figure it out. It’s magical for them and for you.

MCH Lesson #2: Play It Large

On Thursday I spoke at the annual planning meeting for the Miami Children’s Hospital (MCH). It was unbelievably moving. Yesterday I wrote about what I learned from from their mascot. Here’s my second day of lessons from MCH.

Lynnette was one of the employees honored at the event. While this is the first time she has been formally recognized by the hospital it is not her first time being recognized. Patient families regularly thank her and write letters to the hospital expressing their appreciation for how Lynnette has helped them through a difficult time. So what is her job?

Nurse? Doctor? Chaplain? Does she run the family care center? Is she the masseuse on staff?

No. Lynnette runs the checkout in the cafeteria. Her job description says her role is to ring up customers’ food and take their money. Provide change. That’s it.

But Lynnette doesn’t see herself as a checkout person. She sees herself as a member of a patient and family care system. Her job is to help families through the most difficult time of their lives. So she does something simple yet extraordinary.

Lynnette smiles and talks to people. When they show up in the cafeteria more than once she asks their names and the name of their child who is a patient at MCH. Then she remembers. The next time she sees them she greets them by name and asks about their child by name.

Lynnette’s cash register isn’t a location for food purchase transactions. It is a transformational space where welled-up emotions are released, where comfort and compassion are delivered, where what could be taken as a small part is turned into a powerful role.

MCH Lesson #1 – See What You Can Do

I’ve never felt that I learned as much or took as much away from an event where I was a speaker as I did yesterday. I was in Miami speaking at the annual strategic planning event for the senior executives of the Miami Children’s Hospital, and over the next couple of days I’ll share some of the more poignant lessons.

Let’s start with their mascot, Lance.
His back legs became paralyzed during a spinal operation he had to have 2 years ago. His owner, Caio, told me that he just decided he had to make something good happen out of this painful situation. So he got what he refers to as Lance’s bicycle. (This Lance’s namesake was also known for riding a bicycle and achieving greatness after suffering a medical crisis.) Then he enrolled in the therapy dog program at MCH. He wanted to show the kids that even if your health issue leaves you less than 100%, you can still do amazing things.

MCH Mascot Logo

The kids loved him. He became the hit of the therapy dog program. He even became a cartoon complete with his own comic book that Caio hands out to the kids.

Caio told me that some said he should put the dog down instead of have the surgery, that Lance would have a lousy life and it wasn’t worth it to put him through that. They said Lance would be miserable that he couldn’t run around the way he used to.

Then Caio said this:
Dogs don’t think about what they can’t do. They just see what they can do, and they go and do it.

We should all take that lesson from Super Lance.

Email Emotion

Jane and Sarah are frustrated with Doug. Jane sends Doug an email telling him about the mistakes he has made and the ways he has behaved inappropriately.

Sarah calls Doug to share her own frustrations with him. During the conversation Doug takes responsibility for some of the mistakes and also reveals how some of his actions were misinterpreted. Sarah discovers that she also played a role in the difficulties and that much of her frustration was due to mutual miscommunication and misunderstanding.

• Who feels better after these exchanges, Jane or Sarah?
• Who does Doug feel better about?
• Who will Doug consider to be a more valued partner?
• Which method will uncover more truths?
• Which relationship will be stronger after the fact?

Even if Jane and Doug eventually speak and clear things up, who will Doug have greater respect for?

There is a simple rule but one I see violated with surprising frequency.

If you feel any negative emotion – anger, frustration, disappointment – while writing an email or you think that upon reading your email the recipient will feel any negative emotion, don’t send it.

Pick up the phone. If you don’t reach the person, try again later. Leave messages. Call back. But don’t send the email.

The Glass Is Full

It isn’t half full. It’s full. People don’t realize how lucky they are. Realize is the wrong word. It’s passive and fleeting. As though the important thing were to casually recognize every once in a while that, “Oh yeah, check it out. I guess I’m lucky.”

No. We need more than realization. We need active and consistent recognition. Your glass is full. Take a good long look at all the reasons that is so. Don’t raise objections. If there’s something less than perfect, let it go.

Right now, and every day, take just a minute (or more) to really examine what makes you lucky.

Why?

People who engage in daily gratitude exercises have been shown to:

• Exercise more
• Feel physically healthier
• Have greater life satisfaction
• Make more progress toward goals
• Offer more help to others
• Sleep longer and better

They are more:

• Alert
• Optimistic
• Enthusiastic
• Determined
• Attentive
• Energized

Wow. All those benefits just from spending a little time each day paying attention to what we’re grateful for? That’s pretty lucky.

Our New Cathedral

Where do we learn our values? Who teaches us what is important in life?

Some of these lessons come from our parents and our upbringing, but they continue to be shaped throughout our lives.

My friend Andrea Goeglein made an interesting observation. We were talking after a speech I had given to the Stillpoint Center for Spiritual Development in Las Vegas. She said that whereas people used to regularly attend weekly religious services and draw moral guidance from that experience, attendance in such services is dwindling. Instead people are spending more and more time at work, and we as a society are drawing more and more of our values from the company we keep.

This notion will undoubtedly scare some who see corporate America as evil. However, there is good and bad in every system. Some organizations bring out the absolute best values in their employees, their communities, their customers. I’m not talking about the official corporate values on the plaque in the lobby (e.g., teamwork, honesty, integrity). I wrote recently about why those values fail to stick.

I’m talking about the unstated values. What is important to your organization? Materialism? Relationships? Personal fulfillment? Winning at all costs? Shareholders over employees? Customers above all else?

If you don’t pay attention, your organization’s values will become your own without you even noticing. So sit up straight. Listen carefully. Services are in session.

I Know You

You may not think you are famous, but you are.

Liz was always happy. It was her personal legend. She was known for it, and because of that people wanted to work with her, be around her, have her as a friend and colleague.

Michelle cced her buddies on any email to her manager. That was her personal legend. She was known for it, and because of that people didn’t trust her. They saw her mistrust of management and knew that regardless of her talent, she wasn’t someone they wanted to attach to.

Richard asked for feedback and responded with gratitude when he received it – every time. That was his legend. He was known for it, and because of that people loved working for him and trusted that they could tell him anything.

You may not realize it, but you are well known, even famous. So what are you famous for?

Factory vs. Adventure

One of my hobbies is my fish tank. For all of my supplies I go to a store called Aquarium Adventure. The store is set up like a real aquarium. The tanks are all well staged, and each area of the store feels like an exhibit. I go there for supplies and also just for fun.

Yesterday I passed a sign for an aquarium supply store called the Fish Factory. Now I have no idea what the Fish Factory is like. It could be beautiful or not. But what a difference in what these two names evoke – The Fish Factory vs. Aquarium Adventure.

I think there is an obvious marketing lesson in here, but there is also a lesson for living.

Factory living is static, predictable, consistent. And at times this can be comforting.

Adventure living is daring, surprising, exciting. At times we need this experience.

There is a pendulum issue here. We can swing too far to either of these extremes. So where is your pendulum? Is work feeling like more factory or adventure these days? How about life?

If you’ve swung too far to either extreme it might be time to take a moment and turn that pendulum around.

Act Natural

I hope this isn’t getting complicated. Two days ago I wrote that we should all be using more video in our lives – both personally and professionally. Yesterday I showed a video where inhibition went out the window and I said, “Yes. We should all be more like that.” Now here’s one more video fresh out today from a source (Apple) that usually really gets how to communicate honest enthusiasm, but this time (I think) missed the mark. In fact, this video gives us the best of both worlds.

The first guy in the video is fine (at first). Love the accent. The second guy is great. He sounds like a normal person. I trust him. He sounds like he’s giving his honest assessment of the product. Then we go back to the first guy and he gives us this:

There’s no up. There’s no down. There’s no right or wrong way of holding it. I don’t have to change myself to fit the product. It fits me.

Now I know this is a promotional video, but have you ever been frustrated that your computer or smart phone or Kindle had an up? Have you then cried out in frustration that you must change yourself to fit this aggravating up only orientation?

The rotating screen is cool. So talk about it like it’s cool. Instead Apple is trying too hard to express the wonderfulness of their new product. It gets worse. Guy number 3 tells us:

If you see something, you just reach out and tap it. It’s completely natural. You don’t even think about it. You just . . . DO.

I hope you can actually see the video, because this guy truly seems like he would fit in an 80’s SNL spoof commercial telling us about the wonders of a bank that just makes change. His enthusiasm seems either fake or unhealthy, like he’s the guy you slowly edge yourself away from at the cocktail party.

Thankfully, guy number 4 brings us back to a way of speaking that feels honest. The word to describe him – natural.

We all sell – whether product or ideas, whether to customers, colleagues, kids, or spouses. And we all buy. As for me, I’d rather buy my iPad from guy 2 or 4.

SIDE NOTE: The one place Apple could have been unnatural in a good way they also failed. Four speakers in the video. Four white guys. Surprising.